Genre: Realistic Drama
[For character notes for this story, see the character notes file]
——POINT OF VIEW OF THE STORY
3rd person
Scenes only exist where the main character female is.
Omnipresent scene descriptions, events, and character actions.
The reader experiences the story as an observer from outside the scene.
No inner dialogue in the entire story.
The character’s emotions must be inferred through their actions, reactions, dialogue, the tone of the prose, etc.
——TIME AND SETTING
The story takes place in the modern day, in a small town in a box canyon in a remote area of one of the mountain ranges in the USA.
——GEOGRAPHY AND THE TOWN LAYOUT
The town is in a box canyon with vertical walls on all four sides. On the side that connects the canyon to the mountain, there’s a huge, powerful waterfall. A very long time ago, the entire box canyon was carved out of the mountain by the great waterfall. Eventually, it carved a swallow hole beneath itself, then a cave, then a tunnel that opens much further down the mountain.
For a long time, the part of the waterfall that falls within the borders of the box canyon has been falling directly into the swallow hole. Over time, the box canyon dried out and vegetation sprouted from seeds that had been carried there by migrating birds took root. Now the area has a respectable amount of “native” birds, insects, and vegetation. But, although there is thriving plant life in the area, there’s only a very thin layer of soil where the plants grow. Not enough time has passed for a thick layer of soil to build up, so sizable plants such as trees and bushes aren’t able to grow there naturally.
Apparently, the waterfall used to be much bigger, if the width of the swallow is any indication. It has a lot of empty, somewhat dry space.
When the village founders got permission to inhabit the canyon, a specialized cable car system was built within the swallow hole to facilitate the transportation of people, supplies, and livestock into and out of the town. Other than a helicopter, it’s the only way in or out.
The waterfall provides the town with fresh running water for simple indoor plumbing and for farming. It also turns their hydroelectric turbines constantly, so they have access to limited electricity there. With the small homes they have, the limited electricity is enough for warmth, cooking, and lighting. This reduces the amount of lumber they import from the outside world.
The homes of common citizens are carved into the mountains, stacked in columns with stone stairs leading to each home, all along the canyon edge.
On the canyon floor, made with stones that were removed from the perimeter when the homes were carved out of it, are some important structures. These include the elders’ and the high elder’s residences, the holy sanctuary, the Women’s House, the Men’s House, and the market. These are located near the waterfall.
There are other buildings located more centrally in the canyon, made out of stones or bricks that were brought up from the outside world.
——THE CULTURE AND RELIGION OF THE TOWNSFOLK
The name of their god is to be determined for the story. In this file, he will be referred to as “God,” but he’s not any god that exists in our world. For the story, he must have a specific name to make it clear that he is exclusively the god of these townsfolk.
They named the town God’s Nest. By “God,” they mean the god of their unique religion.
They are a protected society, their own autonomous territory or nation, bound together by a very strict set of religious beliefs and an unshakable sense of brotherhood with all believers.
In their culture, when a woman marries, she takes out her right eye and gives it to her husband, floating in a glass orb filled with preserving liquid. The eye is prepared so that it always looks up toward the heavens, no matter how the orb is turned. The husband wears the glass orb prominently around his neck for at least as long as he’s married to the woman.
If they divorce — which can only be his decision — he must remove it but cannot destroy it. If she dies, he may still wear it until he remarries or dies, but again, he’s not allowed to destroy it.
The removal of a woman’s right eye shows her devotion to her husband and to her god. It’s a precious gesture and a precious gift that must never be taken for granted. It’s considered a horrible sin for anyone to do so, regardless of the circumstances. The husband, or former husband, will be severely punished if he violates this rule.
Women don’t look males age 13 and older in the eyes unless it’s her close blood relative (father, brother, son), her betrothed, or her husband. So, in mixed company, the women tend to walk with their eyes slightly downcast or heads slightly bowed in such a way that allows them to see where they’re going without looking into any man’s eyes. They can look at men’s mouths and the rest of the body to read body language, etc.
The only exception is during matchmaking sessions or whatever they’re called, which are chaperoned meetings where she may look into the eyes of potential husbands. These sessions have strict rules and are very closely monitored (rules to be determined if needed for the story).
Although men are the heads of household and the decision-makers in that community and under their religion, they’re not allowed to be mean or cruel to their wives or children or to other members of the faith. They cannot beat, intimidate, ridicule, look down upon, or emotionally abuse their wives or children unless it’s done to cleanse the soul, but even then it cannot ever be done with cruelty, hate, anger, or malice.
In almost all cases, it cannot result in permanent physical damage. The only exceptions to this are the few sins that are seen as corrupting the soul so badly that they might cause the sinner to be damned to Hell after death. For example, being physically attracted to a man you’re not married to is one of those sins. In these cases, the woman is expected to confess to her husband and he is expected to choose and carry out suitable punishment.
If any man is proven to be abusive to his wife, children, or another member of the community, he will pay for that severely. Because they’re supposed to be leaders and protectors, the other men come down hard on men that fail their families. They may drag the man into a punishment room, beat him senseless, and even allow his wife and kids to get a few slaps in if they like. Or they may chain him up without water or food for 2 days. Or they may tie him in front of a punishment room with a sign that explains all that he has done.
It depends on the crime and what the men of that woman’s family plus the man’s family decide. This works because they’re all deeply devoted to their faith, so they behave accordingly. Their faith is more important than family ties, for example, because they can also be punished if they don’t help deal swift and suitable justice to any friend or family member that has gone astray.
The men are supposed to be the most upright members of the town, leading by example so that the women don’t go astray. If the men allow themselves to go astray, it’s believed that the entire village will as well, and that is the worst thing they can do against their god. It’s a ticket straight to Hell for the entire town. That’s what they believe.
They prefer these things be handled at a family and friends level but a matter can be taken to the elders if it must be handled outside the family and friends circle.
Being hard on each other is something they do out of love, to try and save their brothers’ and sisters’ souls from their sins by making them see the errors of their ways and repent and turn back to their god. In their eyes, the harsh treatment isn’t seen as evil in any way.
The townsfolk are very secretive to the outside world. The only way into and out of the town is the heavily guarded and monitored cable car system inside the swallow hole. Outsiders are usually not allowed into the town unless they have shown that they truly accept the town’s religion (this is a very difficult test to pass).
Anyone that has defected is never allowed to come back but their descendants can if they pass the tests.
The followers of the religion truly believe they are the only true chosen people of their god and everyone else is going to Hell. They think all non-believers are forsaken by their god so they can harm or kill or lie to or cheat any non-believer for whatever reason. However, they cannot do any of those things to believers. This is because non-believers are hellbound and therefore worthless. But any non-believer can become a believer if they pass the very difficult trials (which we don’t get into in this story). Pass the trials and you are completely accepted into the town and religion and immediately treated like a beloved member of the family, because to them, that’s what you are. They treat all members of the faith with love. They hold no grudges or resentments toward any believer.
But if a believer leaves the faith, they must leave that place and never return. They are forbidden from contacting anyone of the faith and members of the faith are forbidden from contacting them. Even the elders cannot have any contact with them. This is because leaving the faith is the same thing as betraying their god. He won’t forgive a defector, so neither can his worshippers.
However, although they’re allowed to physically and mentally abuse non-believers and defectors, they don’t do so with hatred in their hearts. Only their god is allowed to hate, be arrogant, feel superior to other beings, etc. So it’s shunning or abuse without hate or malice, which can be quite eerie.
They speak American English. Their religious book is a re-interpretation of the King James Bible. However, they don’t follow the god of the Bible and they are not Christians.
——LOVE, MARRIAGE, AND SEX
The men and women keep their bodies covered in the presence of most other people. The women keep their hair covered as well.
All females aged 16 and older cover their right eye (or eye socket) with a special cloth with a specific pattern on it, which shows their marital status (single, engaged, wed, widowed, single but given to god – such as a nun). Although unmarried and engaged women still have their right eyes, they wear a cloth over it for modesty.
Marriage is one man with one woman and must be based on love. Their sex lives are very passionate and they’re emotionally healthy people. They’re expected to have as many children as the wife’s body can handle.
At the age of 16, a boy and a girl can get engaged but they can’t get married until they’re both at least 18. There is no age restriction on older people who want to marry. There is no age gap restriction between husband and wife, as long as they’re both at least 18.
——COMMUNICATING WITH THE OUTSIDE WORLD
It is forbidden for common members to communicate with non-believers or outsiders without special permission from an elder or the high elder.
The town is in a remote part of a mountain range in the USA. The only means of communication with the outside world is a satellite phone at the communications base located outside the town, near the mouth of the tunnel. Only specific people are allowed to use it. You can’t just sneak out of the town whenever you want. This way, villagers are prevented from accidentally contacting non-believers.
——WORK, MONEY, AND SUPPLIES
The village elders have an exclusive deal with an elite and successful auction house (owned by a family, so this agreement can continue for generations). Once per year, the auction house owner(s) sends supplies (food, medicine, raw materials, etc) as the elders’ request, and return with amazing, desirable things that the villagers painstakingly crafted over that year. Using their unique worldview, artistic sense, and proprietary techniques, the items they create are highly sought after by collectors. So, the auction house provides the village with almost all of its materials from the outside because these rare and wonderful items sell for ridiculously high prices at auction.
In the deal, there is also a small amount of money paid, so the elders have a bank account for the village, which can be used for emergency things that they can’t get through other means.
In the town, the supplies are kept in a storage area that’s only accessible by authorized citizens. From this, items are doled out to the villagers and everyone gets what they need. Nobody wastes because being wasteful is the same as being arrogant and ungrateful towards their god.
In order to get supplies, each week, you line up for your supplies, whatever you need or want, and you sign your name in a logbook. Authorized townsfolk check the book when you return to get that same thing and if you’re being greedy, there is a very unpleasant penalty. Everyone there knows everyone else, so it’s nearly impossible to take more than you need.
Besides the supplies that come from outside, townsfolk also make things for themselves. These include most kinds of food, hand-sewn clothing, and other crafted things. These can be accessed in a market near the center of the canyon. The same logbook idea applies, but there are quantity rules and if anyone abuses those rules, they will be punished for their greed. However, those punishments aren’t as severe as they are for items from the outside because things that are supplied from within the town are not as scarce.
There are also communal things that they all share, such as foot pedal-powered sewing machines, crafting equipment, etc. They try to share as many things as possible. There are also items that can be rented, using the same logbook process.
Unless you truly cannot contribute (too ill, frail, insane, etc), everyone must contribute to the good of the town in some way. There aren’t jobs in the modern sense because individuals don’t earn money there. Individuals there have no need for currency.
There are different tasks for men and for women but some tasks can be done by either gender. Children and teens are often being educated or trained but they may also have tasks, depending on their age or what they’re being trained for.
Near the end of the year, the congregation gets together to decide tasks (jobs) for the coming year. First, the oldest people decide what they want to do, then it continues in order of age until they get to certain ages, which are simply given tasks by the elders (in presence of the older members of their household), to ensure the younger people get experience in a variety of things.
Women are the caretakers of everyone in the town. They help raise the children, minister to the wounded and the sick and help keep the town and surrounding area clean and healthy. However, boys and men have male doctors and girls and women have female doctors. It’s part of a communal, charitable society and it’s very fulfilling for most of the women, including the female main character of this story. The men are usually also fulfilled in their roles. Serving the community well is considered the same as serving their god well.
There is a Women’s House, and a comparable Men’s House, in the town, where girls and women that are recovering from repentance wounds, or otherwise ill or lame, or widowed, or orphaned, or dealing with a psychological problem, or otherwise unable to contribute to the community, can go to be taken care of, nursed back to health, and looked after until they can get back on their feet. The women and girls there are educated while they are there in whatever they need to learn to better their lives. After they’re back on their feet (if that happens), they work their debt of gratitude off to the place. It’s very respectful and fair under the rules of that society. They’re treated with love because that’s what the religion demands.
The townsfolk have access to medicines and somewhat sophisticated medical techniques, in special hospitals, with sanitized equipment, masks, etc, which they get supplied from the outside world. The story won’t get into this much, but their medical care is good, considering how remote they are.
In the canyon, there’s enough area for raising chickens for eggs and sometimes meat and some hearty, very nutritious crops. There’s also a chicken dung composting area far from the houses where they compost the chicken dung for 12 months and then process it to make fertilizer for their crops. All crops are grown in containers because there’s not much soil there. For this purpose, soil was brought in from the outside. The town could be 100% self-sufficient if necessary.
——CLOTHING, ARCHITECTURE, DECOR, STYLE, ETC
Everyone in that culture wears high collars, long sleeves, long pants, or long dresses unless they’re only in the presence of blood relatives, relatives by marriage, or people of the same sex (in bathhouses, for example). This prevents accidentally tempting someone they’re not married to. Women always have their hair covered in public or in mixed company with people that are not blood relatives but may uncover their hair if no men are present.
This culture’s clothing and most other things are bright and cheerful because this is not a somber, oppressed people.
They wear natural fabrics only, from the outside world. They don’t weave their own fabric but they do make their own clothing in their cultural style. They don’t wear any finished items from the outside world (clothing, shoes, jewelry, etc), except for medical things.
Their homes are lushly decorated with fabrics, rugs, carpets, and other textiles, so although the homes are made out of stone, they feel warm and inviting.
——THE TECHNOLOGY INSIDE THE TOWN
For the homes, there isn’t indoor plumbing for the kitchen or sinks. There are long pipes that run inside a trough cut into the rock that runs along the fronts of the houses. The pipes divert water from the waterfall. Every few housing columns, a pipe and faucet stick up out of the trough. Residents collect water there to be used in their homes for washing and cooking. However, they don’t take baths in their homes. Baths are taken in the communal bathhouses.
There’s a special area built along the backs of the houses. It’s basically the sewer system. Each home has a little seat carved out of the rock with a hole in it. That hole slants out to the other side of the rockface. This is their version of a toilet. To “flush” the toilet, water must be poured down it manually, which washes the waste down the sloping tunnel to the mountainside.
——EDUCATION
Townsfolk are taught what they need to know in order to be good followers of their god and in order to serve their fellow believers as well as possible. This includes pursuits of the mind, such as math, science, and reading. These are technically outside arts but they believe these are gifts that originally came from their god. They also believe it pleases him for them to live well with these gifts. They are educated and intelligent.
——PUNISHMENT ROOMS
The punishment rooms are carved into the cliffside. They’re small rooms stacked on each other. They have wooden doors that can be barred from the inside. Each one has stone benches carved all along the two side walls inside the room, which can serve as seating, beds, tables, or storage.
Metal loops and hooks along the walls provide anchor points for tying people to the wall or hanging things for later use.
There are no windows in these rooms. Plumbing pipes do not reach this section of the town and there are no toilets. These rooms aren’t meant to be lived in or occupied for long periods. They’re only supposed to be used for punishments or corrections, in accordance with the people’s religious beliefs.
——THE TOWNSFOLK’S DIALECT
People that have grown up in the town have a slightly archaic way of speaking.
Addressing someone with the word ‘my’, such as ‘my love’, ‘my child’, ‘my husband’, ‘my wife’, ‘my sister’, ‘my beloved’, etc is a very loving way to address the people that they love the most.
Other townsfolk are addressed as ‘sister’, ‘brother’, etc. For example, anyone in the congregation is ‘sister’ or ‘brother’ but never ‘father’ or ‘mother’. One’s actual father and mother are ‘my father’ and ‘my mother’. The elders may be called ‘elder’ or ‘high elder.’
Their dialect is grammatically correct and they use contractions.
Examples of dialect:
Don’t you think it strange?
You shall not…
I can’t bear it.
It’s not for me to decide.
So, it’s slightly archaic sounding but not so different from our current language that it becomes hard for the reader to understand.
An example of the main character’s husband speaking to her:
“My wife. An outsider has come to the village. When you go to market later, be wary of him. His kind are dangerous.”
[For character notes, see the character profiles file]